I’m someone that is a fan of routine; especially routines that I know make me happy and feel good. So every night before I go to sleep there are a couple things I do to ensure I wake up feeling happy. One morning last week, despite my efforts I woke up feeling quite anxious. I was feeling bothered, tight in my chest, my breathing was shallow and I just wasn’t feeling good. I hopped in the shower not understanding this feeling. Nothing triggered me to feel this way. I pondered and as I listened carefully to the underlying thoughts in my head, I noticed I was focusing on all the things I didn’t want.
This is a natural response; our minds are programmed to find the negative. This is something that goes down into the early days of human development (think caveman times). Before modern civilization, before we worried about what to wear or what the person passing us was thinking, we were consumed by thoughts of survival. Is that thing over there a predator, is this safe to eat? We had to be very discerning and know how to suss out danger in a split second otherwise we would be toast. Luckily, this isn’t the case now.
Although it can feel like a curse at times, the negative brain is a gift. I believe there is value in the negative brain for crunch situations, for knowing when something feels right and when it isn’t. I also believe we can have anything we want. We can have the life we want and it doesn’t matter where we started from or our history. We can change our destiny whenever we want.
You may have heard an old adage about 2 wolves? If you haven’t it goes like this:
“An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."”
Put simply, we all have these 2 voices in our heads…one of kindness and positivity, the other mean and negative. Getting what you want in life means focusing on the kind voice, the voice that I like to call the “White Wolf”. This white wolf will lick your wounds, carry you when you’re down and encourage you through the highs and lows. This is what keeps you moving towards the life you are creating for yourself while having and humility to be grateful for what you have now.
So how do you “feed” the white wolf?
The first thing is to decide what you want. For example, do you want to be happier, healthier or wealthier? You need to figure out what exactly it is that you want. We tend to over complicate this one. Keep it simple and listen to yourself. If I was in front of you right now to ask what you wanted, what is the first thing that came to your mind? That is that focus.
Secondly, keep what you want in the forefront of your mind so that you’re reminded to think about what you want and what makes you happy. Ways to do this are make a vision board. Write up what you want somewhere you look regularly as a reminder or simply write “focus on what you want” somewhere are a general reminder.
When training my girls, I am always telling them to focus on their goals, think about why they are doing this and what they want especially when the workout starts to get tough.
That’s all it takes. It is no huge task. When I was in the shower and remembered this, I made a decision right away. I focused on the fun I wanted to have while I ran my Bliss Fitness Bootcamp, on how I wanted to challenge my Personal Training girls, on the workout I wanted to do later and all the love and abundance I have in my life.
The more I work on my own health and fitness journey and work with other women on theirs, I realise that we all think we want to lose weight but really we want to feel happiness, peace within ourselves and confident in our own skin.
Yes we can eat right, workout right but is it coming from the perspective of the dark wolf or the white wolf? Depending which one you feed will determine how easily you achieve your results and how good you feel once you get there.
Imagine just a week down the track, a month or even a year how your life can change from just little changes in perspective on a consistent basis.
Ellisa Haddad as a Personal Trainer and Life Coach, servicing the Cranbourne, Narre Warren, Lynbrook, Clyde, Berwick and Pakenham Areas. Ellisa focuses on obtaining balance between physical, emotional and mental health, for all her clients, and is particularly passionate about supporting women in achieving their goals.
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